Persecution

I am low and unworthy of the love and sacrifice that God has given me.  I do not deserve all that He has done for me in my life.  Persecution of the Christian is unseen in the place that I live.  It is not on the scale as it is for those in many countries where they torture, imprison and kill those who follow the God of creation.

I start off everyday with prayer supplication meditation and reading of God's word.  I spend time with Him quietly to myself.  For this I believed that I was strong and passionate and close to my God.  I was wrong beyond belief.

I watched a video of a girl, Sarah, who was persecuted for her faith in Christ.  They asked her to sign a document that would implicate her Christian brothers and sisters in activities that would be contrary to the laws of the government of the country she lived.  But Sarah did not.  Her penalty was torture.  Sarah was beaten beyond belief and was forced to walk with chains shackled to her legs.  As I watched this movie I thought I do not know if I could take such abuse.  I thought back to all the movies and stories I had seen with different scenes of torture.  It scared me and I felt in my heart that I would give up the lives of those who follow Christ, or would not be able to proclaim His life, just to save my own.  As I watched I kept thinking, why would God do such things to me? or really to her?

They said unto him, Grant unto us that we may sit, one on the right hand, and the other on thy left hand, in thy glory.  But Jesus said unto them, Ye know not what ye ask: can ye drink of the cup that I drink of? and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?  And they said unto him, We can.  And Jesus said unto them, Ye shall indeed drink of the cup that I drink of; and with the baptism that I am baptized withal shall ye be baptized.  Mark 10:37-39

Then Sarah said something.  She said that as she walk she could see her foot prints.  Her foot prints were in the trail of blood that was left from her injuries.  As Sarah seen this she said this must have been a little of what Christ felt as he walk the path of Golgotha. She gained strength in knowing that she could suffer only a fraction of what Christ suffered for us, for Him.

As I heard that my spirit began to stir and my heart began to tremble. I saw then that my life was not in the standard in which it should be.  How can I be caught up in this world?  How can I be living for my flesh?  I thought that I was living fully for Christ but I was only giving Him what I thought was all of me which was conditional on my environment.  I must be ready to die for Christ.  Or better I must be ready to be tortured for Christ.  It is easy to die knowing that you will be with the Father instantly but to be in constant pain feeling body parts ache from the abuse done to them by various methods induced by different tools created only to bring the pain that is felt.  In this mind frame how can I sin?  How could I be hubris, lustful, slothful, or even covetous?  To not sin is good yet in truth, would being tortured for Christ not be the greatest thing I could do for my Lord?  To suffer the same as He did and to show my love for Him, I pray this would be my heart.  I know my heart is not this way, but I pray that it will be.  God has shown me quite a marvelous thing tonight. And once I know I can never turn away from the knowledge given to me.  Can I drink the cup that Christ has drank?